In this episode, I talk with Sue Goldstein, BA, CCRC, AASECT-CSE, IF. (That is a ton of credentials isn’t that?!)
In 2007, Sue and her husband moved from Boston to San Diego to open up San Diego Sexual Medicine.
She educates people on sex, sexual dysfunction, sexual functionality, basically everything that has to do with sexual medicine.
She also recently co-authored a book called “When Sex Isn’t Good”.
You’re never too old for sex
According to Sue, you are never too old for sex and it’s never too late to regain sexual health. Research tells us that being sexually active actually decreases your stress level. There are a lot of benefits!
It is good for your health and your relationship.
It improves self-esteem
There is more fun in relationships and
There is more of a playful ease in relationships.
The oldest man they treated for erectile dysfunction was 91. So, as the saying goes “where there’s a will there’s a way!”
“The man with the young woman on his arm is not looking for a trophy wife, he’s looking for a lubricated vagina”
We went over so many enlightening and fascinating things. Here is a short list of some of them:
Menopause (Sex doesn’t have to hurt!)
HSDD (Hypoactive sexual desire disorder)
Injection therapy (Can’t be as bad as it sounds can it?)
Prostate cancer and treatments to help with getting an erection
Implants for men
The “G” Spot
I learned so much from conducting this interview on sexual medicine. If you would like to comment or have any information on treatments you have used (or want to learn more about), feel free to join the conversation and comment below.
In this episode, I am talking poop with Melissa Ramos!
Melissa is a Nutritionist focusing on Chinese Nutrition Therapy and owner of Sexy Food Therapy Inc. She helps people feel sexy from the inside out with a focus on digestion and hormone imbalances.
Melissa’s journey began when she got sick. She started to see a nutritionist and discovered she had digestive issues. Melissa went and studied nutrition and from there, she studied Chinese Medicine right afterward. She began a blog basically just for fun. In the beginning, she was blogging about how she emotionally ate the right way and was documenting a lot of dating stories. To her surprise, a bunch of people started reading it and the business focus changed. A lot of it changed based on her personal struggle with digestion and a near death experience that she discusses in the interview.
The Poop Whisperer
People get nervous about talking openly about poop. They will go to an entirely different floor of an office building to poop just so that no one knows they are going.
Talking poop is important as it can tell a lot about your health.
As you get older your digestion declines. 70% of women will get fibroids by the age of 50. So what do YOU need to know about your poop? What should you be looking for? (And according to Melissa, yes, you should be looking)
How many wipes
Proper bowel elimination
Don’t poop enough? Melissa gives us some great tips in the interview on what we can do to increase the frequency and improve our bowel movements.
Warning: This episode on senior sex obviously contains adult material.
Joan Price teaches us that it’s OK to have sex after seventy
Today my guest was Joan Price, who is a senior sex guru. And as you know, sex is an important part of the retirement lifestyle.
Joan, who is an “advocate for ageless sexuality”, has written numerous books, and in fact, she has been called the “senior sexpert”. When I met her online I knew that I just had to have her on the show!
We discussed the fact that NO, we don’t have to sit in a separate bathtub holding hands with our partner (think Cialis commercials) and in fact, we don’t even need to have partner at all! Think about it, if you are a woman, chances are your partner (if you have one) is going to predecease you if you are around the same age since women live longer than men.
Senior Sex? I have so many questions!
What do you think about drugs like Cialis and Viagra?
Should these senior sex drugs be covered by Medicare?
What made you start writing about senior sex in the first place?
How can we spice up our sex lives?
Why do we tend to put our sex lives on hold as we get older?
What do we do if we don’t have a partner (Joan has a lot to say about this subject!)
If you’re shy, what do you do?
How can you talk to your doctor and what should you say?
What do you do with all those adult toys after you review them?
We talked about the fact that she writes reviews of sex toys from a senior perspective.
I asked her what the difference would be between a non-senior and a senior perspective and she was happy to tell me.
We lose sensitivity as we age, so senior sex toys should be really powerful.
For the same reason, they have to go a long time. We don’t want the battery dying at a critical moment.
An adult toy should be comfortable for arthritic hands (ergonomic).
The controls should be easy for aging eyes to see.
We need to be able to hold on to them with slippery fingers, so they should be easy to hold.
These devices should be made with non-toxic materials. There are no laws governing this like there are for dog toys or baby toys. (Who knew?)
Steven Loring, award-winning filmmaker and screenwriter, filmed “The Age Of Love”, a documentary which follows 30 people in their 70’s and 80’s participating in a senior speed dating event. New love can be found at any age. Listening to Steven tell his story will definitely make you want to see his film!
After discovering that a senior speed dating event was to take place, Steven had the challenge of getting all participants to agree to his filming. The responses surprised Steven and will surprise you as well.
Many seniors have resigned themselves to thinking that finding love is not possible. There is a general feeling that after a certain age desire for both physical and emotional love fades away. To make things worse, seniors tend to keep quiet about their feelings of loneliness.
In filming “The Age Of Love” Steven made the following observations:
The desire for both physical and emotional love is still present regardless of age.
The desire for something as simple as touch can cause feelings of loneliness and isolation.
The need is much deeper than what society terms as “companionship.”
Age strips away looks, status, and financial compatibility. This leaves only the desire to connect with someone who understands us and who will be there we need it.
You can feel the same emotional giddiness that we all have felt as teenagers!
People in more than 14 countries have seen it. It moves past age, sex, economic level, and social background of the viewers. Age is the great equalizer and it will affect all of us.
You can find the films at venues that have scheduled screenings, but it may be available in the future via streaming or DVD.
Listen to the Interview with Geraldine “Geri” Afshari, Harp Musician and Speaker on iTunes, Stitcher, or Podcast Addict.
For instructions on how to do that, go HERE. She played a song for us, and we can’t put that into words!
Geri Afshari is a musician and plays the Paraguayan harp professionally, travels extensively and lived in Iran, is a writer/editor/photographer, a lay counselor, a life-long activist, an avid SUP paddler, and hunts sea glass for her sea glass mosaic artwork. She is also retired from working because she has to for money. What a great place to be!
Geri has been the featured speaker for numerous parent classes and teacher workshops over the years, including MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers), various women’s ministries, annual Pre-12 th grade conventions for ACSI (Association of Christian Schools International), and many K-12 school and home school groups.
She loves to SUP (Stand Up Paddle Board), and tells people to slow down, use the luxury of time, understand how sound healing works, and she also volunteers for the palliative care team at Scripps Encinitas.
Her newest passions include harp therapy and sound meditation, besides whatever her family is doing.
Geri is the mother of 2 grown children and has 2 grandsons. They all live near her in North San Diego County and share her love for the ocean and nature in general. She loves taking them with her on trips.
She plays her Paraguayan harp at all types of events besides harp therapy and sound meditation.
Geri says that eating, cleaning, epigenetics, yoga and meditation all can help improve your health. Of course, listening to music (and in particular harp music) can’t hurt either!
What do you think people should know BEFORE they retire?
Geri thinks people should know how free and giddy they’ll feel to own their own time. She also thinks retirees should remember that the best things in life really are free. You will find your new self, your significance, your purpose and you don’t need much money. She also says to spend time in nature.
What if you feel stuck:
Give yourself permission to return to your basic self. Your health is your responsibility, so take ownership of it, don’t outsource it anyone. Research, learn, grow, heal and seek joy. Do things that line up with the heart of God. Time is the treasure so use it well. Serve others and you will be blessed.
What the heck is Palliative Care? I’d never heard of it before 2016.
Pastor William “Bill” Harman came on the show to explain Palliative Care to us.
His background is long so I’ll summarize his current activities:
Center for Global Awareness
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
Lives in Encinitas, CA
Bill Harman is the Chaplain with the Palliative Care Team at Scripps Encinitas Hospital. He came on the show to talk to us
What is it?
Palliative Care is not hospice. It is specialized medical care to relieve symptoms and improve quality of life. This is for conditions that won’t be cured but can be managed. Some of the diseases include COPD, other respiratory disorders, and cancer.
Why would someone want it?
Palliative care is designed for comfort and pain management. It is for the seriously ill, but for those who are trying to get better. Palliative care helps minimize pain and discomfort. 90% of hospitals that have over 300 beds have a palliative care program.
What does a Chaplain do?
Chaplains are educators. Chaplains provide spiritual care, and educate people about end of life. Bill is familiar with 55 religious preferences and helps facilitate the dying’s wishes. Bill said that according to the “happiness index”, Bhutan is the happiest country because of how they deal with death. Chaplains deal with human issues, not necessary religion.
Why does it even exist?
In the 1950s, people died earlier. Now we are extending life. As we extend life we need to answer questions for ourselves. If we want to extend our own lives longer, then palliative care can help with the discomfort and pain we feel because of disease.
Who pays for it?
Although Medicare pays for the bulk of palliative care, there are pediatric palliative care teams at certain hospitals.
To hear the both stories in full, listen to the episode on iTunes, Stitcher, or Podcast Addict. For instructions on how to listen on your smartphone, go HERE.
Surfer Story: Bill told us a story about a surfer who had cancer. He wasn’t going to survive and he wanted to spend one more night on the beach. The team was able to get him to the beach to help accommodate his last wish.
Hawaii Story: Bill told us of another patient who wanted to go to Hawaii. The team wasn’t able to send him to Hawaii, but they DID throw a Hawaiian party for her.
Marriage: Another story was how a patient wanted to see his daughter get married. Many of the things that the team did was similar to Make a Wish.