858-876-2548

Retirement as a surviving spouse: Episode 091

Ann Nelson talks about Retirement as a surviving spouseLife is a journey. Lot’s of retirees think about retiring as a couple. But what about retirement as a surviving spouse?

In this interview, I talk with Ann Nelson. After suddenly finding herself a widow in 2009, Ann needed to learn – and fast – about finances, survival, and ultimate retirement. Ann is the author of Retire Well, Retire Happy. On her journey, she has found that in the end, it is not all about the money. Living a happy and worthwhile life is extremely important. Her book is about how she navigated through the retirement maze and found her way after being left a widow.

In 2009, Ann was semi-retired but still working part-time flipping houses with her husband when he passed away.

Ann knew she had to figure out her retirement as a surviving spouse

We talked about the very sudden and surprising passing of her husband who had a heart attack at the dinner table. This was the catalyst for the following chain of events in her life:

  • She found herself making burial and funeral arrangements
  • Anne had to continue renovating homes herself. She worked for about a year before fully retiring. She did find working helped keep her mind busy.
  • Then she also realized she had to learn how to sort out finances due to her husband’s death

It wasn’t until she went back to her and her late husband’s home town, she began to grieve.  You have no control over grief and you have to allow yourself the time to grieve. Even though it’s been over 8 years since her husband passed she still grieves sometimes.

She had to reimagine herself and where she was going since her life had changed so much

Ann has been keeping herself very busy in her retirement. She is writing and has her own podcast. Ann is also a retirement consultant and has taken courses to learn about investing.

She is also a member of a variety of groups:

In her book she not only talks about the investing and finances in retirement, she also talks about being happy in retirement. (You know I LOVE that!) The non-financial aspects of retirement such as traveling, learning and living arrangements.

Her book is called Retire Well, Retire Happy and can be found on her website: http://www.annnelson.com.au/

Ann’s advice: Unless you are involved in outside activities, retirement can be a struggle. Prepare for retirement as a couple but also prepare and think about retirement as a surviving spouse.

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Organizing Your Home: Episode 088

Lisa Woodruff talks about organizing your home

In this episode, I talk with Lisa Woodruff on organizing your home

Lisa Woodruff believes organization is not a skill you are born with. It is a skill that is developed over time and changes with each season of life. She has helped thousands of women reclaim their homes and finally get organized with her practical tips, encouragement, and humor through her blog and podcast at Organize365.com.

Got clutter? I Do.

I am the “queen of clutter” or, as Lisa put’s it, “I have a hard time separating the memory from the object”. Makes perfect sense right? Since listening to Lisa’s show, I have been making progress. I am a HUGE fan of Lisa’s show and wanted YOU, my listener, to be able to learn tips on organizing your home.

Paper.. how to deal with all of the paper!

When you look at a stack of 100 sheets of paper, you think that is 100 different items that you need to deal with. Lisa looks at your stack of 1000 pieces of paper and she knows that there are no more than 8 categories in that stack of paper and she can go through it super quickly. Lisa gives an amazing tip on how to go through the archived paper. You know, the mounds of paper you have in your filing cabinet or scattered all over your desk, or taking over your kitchen table..that paper. Using Lisa’s method, you can be completely through an entire filing cabinet in just a few months.

The Sunday Basket

The Sunday Basket is a system for processing mail, kitchen counter “to do” papers, and ongoing household projects.

Some examples of things you might put in the Sunday basket are:

  • Mail
  • Receipt for some prescriptions that you picked up
  • The dry cleaning ticket
  • The little card you get from the doctor’s office telling you it’s time for your next visit
  • A birthday card you bought for your granddaughter
  • Let’s say you planned on re-hanging some pictures and you went and got command hooks. You would put those in there.

The rule is that you pick a day of the week (Lisa does hers on Sunday) and you take every single thing out of the basket. You then ask yourself one question; can this wait until next Sunday?  If the answer is yes, the item goes back in the basket. If the answer is no, it is left out to be taken care of. She even suggests making a Sunday basket for your spouse or for your loved one that you are caring for!

Lisa gives so many tips on organizing your home in this interview there is no way I could write them all here. If you have any great ideas or tips on organization feel free to post them in the comments below!

Lisa’s Books: The Mindset of Organization, Take Back Your House One Phase at a Time

If you would like to contact Lisa you can email her at lisa@organize365.com or you can go to her website https://organize365.com/

Or you can check out her virtual Sunday Basket Classes at https://thesundaybasket.com/

Websites mentioned in this interview: Zoom

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Documents we need to have a great retirement: Episode 73

Photo of Karin Schumacher Episode 73

I asked Karin to come on the show to talk to us about the documents we need to have a great retirement.

Karin Schumacher has been an attorney since 2001. She is regarded as compassionate, accomplished, and dedicated at Elder Law & Advocacy, Legal Aid Society, and San Diego Volunteer Lawyer Program. She has effectively served over 12,000 clients.

She talks about her grandfather who was a very “well to do” business owner. (He owned 3 auto supply stores). At the time he passed away in 1975, he had over ten million dollars. He wanted his children and his grandchildren to receive that. The problem was that unbeknownst to him, the Corporate Trustee he used, did not have his best interest at heart. All of his hard earned money had been squandered. Now in 1975, there was far less oversight on Corporate Trustees and a lot fewer regulations than there are now.

Put these documents in place BEFORE they are needed. Also update or review them on a regular basis because life events and circumstances change frequently.”

Karin goes over each of these in greater detail during the interview.  Below, is the list of documents we need to have a great retirement:

  1. Advanced Healthcare Directive- This is basically your end of life wishes. It is a 55-page document that goes over your medical wishes should you become incapacitated.
  2. Power of Attorney (Springing or Immediate) Springing POA- Only takes place upon incapacity. Immediate- Be cautious here because the moment you sign an immediate POA, the power goes to the agent. However, a POA is one of the documents we need to have a great retirement.  Kathe likes the Springing kind.
  3. HIPAA Release (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) – Prohibits Healthcare providers from releasing information unless you have completed a HIPAA  release form.
  4. Trust- If you own a home and or assets in California above $150,000 then a Trust will assist in avoiding probate.
  5. Will – If you are distributing assets by other means and don’t own a home, then be sure to create a will.

To get today’s Freebie, What Documents Do I Need Before I Become Incapacitated, go to http://rockyourretirement.com/Incapacitated

Contact Information for Karin: www.AfsarEstatePlanning.com

Special Thanks to:

  • Angie Strehlow who helps us get great guests that help us with our retirement lifestyle while keeping everything on track…and helps with these show notes!
  • Les Briney, my husband, and Danny Ozment of Emerald City Pro who edits the show and makes my guests and me sound terrific
  • Henry Shapiro, host of Retired Excited that airs on Fridays
  • YOU for telling your friends about the show, leaving comments below, and sharing episodes you really like on Facebook, and reviewing the show on iTunes

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

*Rock your Retirement discusses retirement issues, but neither Rock Your Retirement nor Kathe Kline provides legal advice.  Please be sure to consult your own attorney.

If your parents have Alzheimer’s, you need The Secret of Adult Day Care Episode 69

Lisa Tyburski discusses Adult Day Care Programs

Lisa Tyburski discusses Adult Day Care Programs

Caregiving is relentless. It is exhausting beyond belief and caregivers need a break. Adult Day Programs (AKA Adult Day Care) are a way for people to get a break.  They can drop their loved one off in a safe environment.

I spoke with Lisa Tyburski from The Glenner Centers which offers Adult Day Programs AKA Adult Daycare Center from their 3 locations in San Diego. Lisa shared with me the powerful story about how The Glenner started. It was founded in 1982 by Dr. Glenner and his wife Joy. Dr. Glenner was a researcher at the UCSD school of medicine. He was working to advance research in the Alzheimer’s field. One night around midnight, he and his wife Joy received a phone call from the husband of one of Dr. Glenner’s Alzheimers patients. The husband, who had been a caregiver to his wife was frantic. He was absolutely at the end of his rope and he had a loaded gun in his hand. He was going to murder his wife and commit suicide. Dr. Glenner knew he needed to come up with a solution to help the caregivers.

You can go to work, run errands, take a nap, or whatever you need to do to tend to the other areas of your life.  You know that your loved one is being taken care of.

The Glenner Centers provides brain-stimulating activities. This can also help with sundowner’s syndrome in the evenings.  Some of these activities include:

  • Singing and music
  • Listening to and discussing current events
  • Animals brought in from the Humane Society
  • Socializing

I had NO idea these places existed and I had to learn more.

Have a care giver?  No problem, you can still use Adult Day Programs (AKA Adult Day Care).

Things Lisa says you should look for when looking into an Adult Day Programs (AKA Adult Day Care):

  • Do they specialize in dementia if your loved one has dementia?
  • What is the staff to participant ratio?
  • How many total participants in the center on any given day. You may want to look for a smaller center for more personalized experience
  • Do they have a nurse on staff and ask if they can manage medications?

If you would like to contact Lisa or The Glenner Centers you can email information@glenner.org or ltyburski@glenner.org and the website is www.glenner.org

The freebie for this episode is ABC’s of Dementia which you can get by going to http://RockYourRetirement.com/abc

Special Thanks to:

  • Angie Strehlow who helps us get great guests that help us with our retirement lifestyle while keeping everything on track…and helps with these show notes!
  • Les Briney, my husband, and Danny Ozment of Emerald City Pro who edits the show and makes my guests and me sound terrific
  • Lesinda Tubalado who helps keep the website up to date
  • Henry Shapiro, host of Retired Excited that airs on Fridays
  • YOU for telling your friends about the show, leaving comments below, and sharing episodes you really like on Facebook.

This post on Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

How To Take The Headache Out Of keeping track of your parent’s medical documents: Episode 067

parent's medical documents

parent’s medical documents

Michael’s mother had a stroke and could no longer care for herself, so Michael became her caregiver.

He discovered the constant need to repeat care giving information to various caregivers so he ended up carrying a binder with him that contained his parent’s medical documents. During this period Michael’s company hired an Elder Family Resource person to help manage the complexities of her care.

James, a longtime friend of Micheal’s, had a similar experience. His father developed sudden onset Parkinson’s after his mother passed away and so couldn’t care for himself. James lived far away, but his sisters lived near his dad. As his dad’s needs increased, it became increasingly difficult to manage the household and care giving information between siblings.

Michael and James talked about their respective care giving challenges and the need for a way to store and share critical documents became obvious. This led to their forming ElderAdmin to fulfill this very important need.

This service stores images of their documents, and you can access it anywhere!  OK…anywhere Internet can be accessed.

Whether you use their program or not, you’ll need access to documents.  Some of the critical documents that are needed for care giving are:

• Advanced Healthcare Directive
• Power of Attorney
• Will or Trust
• Estate Planning Documents
• List of Medications
• Health Status
• Insurance Documents
• Financial Account Statements

ElderAdmin can help take the headache out of keeping track of your parent’s medical documents:

It is a membership plan that can be accessed via computer, tablet, or smartphone. There is a free service is for individuals.  If you need more than one person to be able to access the info, then you can get that for $9.50 per month (as of 3/2017) for unlimited access and storage.

One of the great features of ElderAdmin is in the area of security. Whoever posts the document has ultimate control over who can and who can’t access particular sections containing information. Encryption with unique IDs and passwords protect your parent’s medical documents.

Today’s Freebie is The Important Documents Checklist, and it can be found at http://RockYourRetirement.com/documents

Website: www.ElderAdmin.com  Phone: 844-350-4582  Email: Contact@ElderAdmin.com

Special Thanks to:

  • Angie Strehlow who helps us get great guests that help us with our retirement lifestyle while keeping everything on track
  • Les Briney, my husband, and Danny Ozment of Emerald City Pro who edit the show and makes me and my guests sound terrific
  • Lesinda Tubalado who helps keep the website up to date
  • Henry Shapiro, host of Retired Excited that airs on Fridays
  • YOU the listener for sharing on social media, and telling your friends about it

This post on Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

*******************************************************************************

A little on their backgrounds:

Michael Blevins

Managing Director and Co-founder, Michael Blevins knows from personal experience the need for ElderAdmin’s unique services. Ongoing care for a mom afflicted with dementia led to his knowledge in the ever-changing health care procedures and programs, which makes him especially sensitive to ElderAdmin member needs. With over 32 years’ experience in performance management with nationally recognized financial institutions, including 10 years with a Fortune 500 company, Michael has the qualifications to oversee the operation of ElderAdmin.

Michael attended California State University, San Bernardino, and lives in southern California.

James Hendrick, CSA

Director and Co-founder, James Hendrick was inspired to address one of the most urgent problems facing today’s growing population after his own father’s passing from Parkinson’s Disease: family care giving for aging parents.

With over 20 years of experience in project management and implementation with major world-wide institutions and Fortune 100 companies, James has a solid record of success in technical vision, business solutions and operational strategies. Such diverse, hands-on background was instrumental in the creation and development of ElderAdmin and continues to facilitate its growth and effectiveness.

As a Certified Senior Advisor living in southern California, James has received the education and training to better serve senior clients. Married with three children and three very active grandchild and he understands the challenge of balancing career and family life with senior caregiving.

 

What do you say to someone who’s grieving? Episode 66

What do you say to someone who's grieving?

Natalia Volz speaks on Grief

So many people in my life in 2016 were grieving it’s difficult to track them all.

Some of them lost a family member.  Some lost a pet.  And some were grieving over their lost candidate after the election. One of the things that most of us have to deal with in retirement is grief – either our own or someone else’s.  What do you say to someone who’s grieving?  That’s exactly what I asked Natalia Volz and the answer may surprise you.

Natalia Volz is the founder of Passing Through Grief and the RELIEF Process.

She helps individuals who feel lost and down after experiencing a significant loss or change in their life such as a death, divorce, or children leaving home to heal their pain so they can rebuild their life and find renewed purpose.

She has first hand experience with loss and grief.  In 2010, after a two-year battle with cancer, her husband died at the age of 49. Lost, alone, and very frightened, she eventually found her way through the devastating pain of loss and grief.

There is a lack of understanding and a fear in our culture about loss and grief and she found herself struggling to find help to get through. She worked diligently to move beyond her own grief and on to living happily and purposefully.   Natalia read every book she could get my hands on, took courses on the subject, and completed grief recovery certification training, and in the process became passionate about making a difference in the way our society deals with loss, change and grief.

It’s easy to tell that she feels passionate about getting out accurate information on a subject we normally avoid but all have to confront first hand at some point in our lives.

I asked Natalia, “What do you say?”  I know that I’m always at a loss for words when I’m confronted with someone who is grieving, because I know that nothing I say or do is going to bring their wholeness back. She had a very interesting answer:   Be a heart with ears.

For the person who is grieving, she said that time does not heal all wounds.  The person suffering a loss needs to talk about it.  Keeping busy does not heal. So what do you say to someone who’s grieving?

Natalia gave us some steps to take to help with our own grief:

  • Find a place to talk about the feelings of loss.
  • Write about your feelings about the loss.
  • Connect with others.  See if there is one friend who will listen to how you are feeling.  Tell them you just need to talk, and to have them listen.
  • Say it or write it while you are feeling the emotion.
  • Grief causes a lot of energy.  Move through it through your body. Don’t stuff it.  Take a walk if you can.
  • Listen to music that makes you cry. Get your tears out.  Crying releases a stress hormone that actually helps you release the stress.  Don’t worry, you can’t cry forever.  Normally it takes about 15 minutes and then you feel better.
  • Writing really helps with the relief process.

So what do you say to someone who’s grieving?  For dealing with others, remember you can’t fix it so don’t even try.  Be a heart with ears.  If your friend is telling you about some guilt that they might feel, don’t discount it by saying “He knew you loved him”, instead say something like, “I can imagine that would be really painful.  I can’t imagine what that would feel like.  Tell me more”.

Natalia gave us some excellent advice, but unfortunately my internet went out right when we were wrapping up the show.  I hope to have her come back someday because what she had to say was so valuable.  The good news is that we were wrapping up, about to give out her contact information, which we have below.

If you’d like to contact Natalia, you can reach her at 877-606-0909 or Natalia@PassingThroughGrief.com

Her website is http://PassingThroughGrief.com.

Get today’s Freebie, Five Quick Easy Action Steps You Can Do Now To Get Relief From Grief, at www.RockYourRetirement.com/Relief

Special Thanks to:

  • Angie Strehlow who helps us get great guests that help us with our retirement lifestyle while keeping everything on track
  • Les Briney who edits the show and makes my guests and me sound terrific
  • Lesinda Tubalado who helps keep the website up to date
  • YOU the listener for letting other people know about this show by sharing on social media, and telling your friends about it

This post on Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com