Are you Making a Move soon? This is the episode to listen to! Jami Shapiro is the owner of Silver Linings Transitions. She is a single mother of three girls, an 11 year thyroid cancer survivor, a community volunteer and a Realtor.
Believing everything happens for a reason, Jami discovered the National Association of Senior Move Managers in 2014. They were holding the national conference in San Diego. She attended the conference, met other Senior Move Managers and knew she’d found the work she was meant to do.
Silver Linings Transitions is a bright spot for people facing difficult transitions AND making a move.
The company specializes in seniors who are downsizing or making a move into senior communities as well as couples going through divorce. As someone’s who’s faced cancer and divorce, Jami understands personally how important it is to find the “silver lining” when life doesn’t go the way we’d hoped. When working with clients through their transition, the Silver Linings Transitions team focuses on what’s positive during a difficult time and helps the client navigate through the move as gently as possible.
The most important work we do is helping people with the emotional aspect of making a move.
In this episode Jamie and I talk about:
The secret of getting 3000 square feet worth of stuff into a 1200 square foot apartment.
What can I do now if I don’t want to move, but I just have a lot of clutter that I want to get rid of?
How do you deal with those boxes and boxes of photos?
What is the difference between a mover and a move manager such as Silver Linings Transitions?
How to diffuse any needless fighting over belongings and keep the stress level down for everyone.
Be mindful of how much “stuff” you buy. Spend money on experiences rather than stuff.
Spend more time focusing on the present and what you are able to do. Don’t worry about the future or the past. Focus on what you can do and not what you can’t do. Do something you have never done and always wanted to try.
In episode 53 of Rock Your Retirement, our guest was Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW. You can listen to the show by clicking the little arrow button.
Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW has been a well-known patient advocate and licensed clinical social worker for the last 40 years. She has worked with patients and families who have experienced catastrophic illnesses like strokes, cancer, amputations, and head injuries. She also worked with people battling infertility. Ms. Waichler is an author and a Mom’s Choice Gold Award Winner. She was also the winner of the (NAPPA) Gold Award for best book of the year, and winner of the finalist award for Foreword Magazine 2007 non-fiction Book of the Year. Her newest book, “Role Reversal, Taking Care of Yourself and Your Aging Parents” arrived on bookshelves August 2016.
So many people are taking care of aging parents and still have children of their own living at home. This is the “Sandwich Generation”
Iris was involved of taking care of both of her aging parents. She tells a story about noticing her father was wearing two watches while at a doctor’s visit. This small detail leads to an emergency surgery for a hemorrhage in his brain.
Things to look for when visiting an aging parent or loved one:
Does their personal care seem to be getting worse?
How are they eating?
Condition of their home – Is the house in disarray?
Are they showing any signs of memory loss?
Do you see any physical symptoms or balance issues?
Have there been changes in social behavior?
Do you see changes in emotional status?
Are there scratches and dents in their car?
How to bring up the difficult conversations that go along with taking care of aging parents.
Driving and are they safe to continue to drive?
Wishes upon death
Power of attorneys
Staying in their own home and whether or not is safe.
Iris also tells us about Geriatric Care managers. They can help with putting a game plan in place if it gets to be too overwhelming.
Assisted Living Facilities and what you should look for
In episode 49 of Rock Your Retirement we talked with Christine Murphy about Assisted Living Facilities and what you should look for.
Christine has held a RCFE Administrator’s Certificate since 2007. Her thesis work was documented in “An Exposition of Irregularities in Residential Care Facilities for the Elderly (RCFEs) in San Diego and Imperial Counties” (Montezuma Publishing, SDSU, 2010). This was based on original research conducted on the public files of 354 Communities located in San Diego and Imperial counties.
She is CARR’s Program Manager in the County of San Diego. CARR is developing a website with a rating system for assisted living facilities in San Diego county.
Chris placed her mom in an assisted living facility, but she saw things she didn’t like. She felt that her mom was in danger at the facility. Indeed, Mom’s health and safety were being jeopardized.
Mom passed away, and then Chris filed a lawsuit. Two years later the law suit settled, and she started looking for ways to leverage what she had learned. Chris wanted to benefit other families who had to make assisted living placement decisions.
Their hope is that their work levels the playing field. They want to advocate for consumers of assisted living services. They want them to be empowered and knowledgeable advocates for their resident in assisted living.
We created the freebie for you, “5 things to look for in an Assisted Living Community: hint: it’s not the beautiful chandelier!” To download the freebie, just go to http://RockYourRetirement.com/assistedliving. In case you are wondering, those five things are:
The freebie goes into a bit more detail.
On the show, Chris goes through all of these items to help us find what questions to ask when looking at an assisted living facility.
Did you find that you don’t understand the terminology? Me neither! I frequently call “assisted living facilities” by the wrong name! (My bad.) That’s why her organization created a free Android App called Assisted Living 101. It’s available at the Android Play Store (sorry iPhone users, but they are still working on the iPhone version). So download that today.
To end the show, Chris said that you DON’T have to RETIRE! Working can be a reason to get up in the morning.
The Silver Hour – 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after death
In this episode of Rock Your Retirement we talked with Dr. Marilyn Stoner.
She is a professor at California State University San Bernardino, and before that she was on Faculty at CSU Fullerton. She was also the Vice President for Ramona Home Care and Hospice in Hemet, California.
Dr. Stoner’s passion is about end of life care and she has been working with seniors and in the senior care industry since 1998. Her grandparents owned a funeral home so she is also familiar with death. She is a Professor now and has discovered something called the SilverHour which is the 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after death. She developed a unified vision of what the last moments of life and the first moments of death are so that every care giver knows what to do.
The Silver Hour includes three phases, namely dying, death, and dead:
1st 20 minutes (Pre-mortem)
Changes in body temperature
Make sure family and care givers knows death is imminent
Declared dead (Mortem)
Wash body/prepare body
Family begins life as grieving relatives
Transport of body
Dr. Stoner also discusses that if you get some warning of death it is a gift. Use this time to have conversations with your loved one about end of life and what they would like. Start the conversations lightly and don’t try to discuss every detail all at once. Give your love one time and space if needed.Also, ask them if there is anything they would like to do. Complete items on a bucket list, or travel somewhere if they are able
Something people should know before they retire:
Think about what you want and start working on it. Research or watch YouTube videos and what you think you may like to do. Think about what your goal is.
How to get “unstuck” in your retirement:
Focus on how absolutely precious life is and it is not going to go on forever. Identify people you admirer. Is your life going to be spent on the couch or doing something?
Dave Jackson talks about his experience with Alzheimer’s
On the 10/17/16 episode of the Rock Your Retirement show, Kathe interviewed celebrity Dave Jackson about his experience with Alzheimer’s disease.
Dave Jackson runs the School of Podcasting. Frances McGrogan, a previous guest, and I talked about how he helped us learn how to podcast in episode 21.
This chat wasn’t about podcasting though. It was about his experience with Alzheimer’s Disease, which is a form of Dementia. Dementia is a heartbreaking disease, and Dave tells his story about how he was able to deal with it.
Dave told us about his father, and his experience with Alzheimer’s. The family thought that the symptoms were due to a mugging that he had experienced earlier in his life. As his father got older, Dave and his brother realized that something was wrong. Dad was always bringing up certain stories and repeating them. (But we all do that, right?)
Dad went to the hospital for colon cancer. The hospital diagnosed him with dementia, and Dad couldn’t be left alone.
The family had to do some quick planning. They only had a week to find a place for him to stay.
A common side effect of Alzheimer’s is inappropriate sexual behavior. It’s also common for Alzheimer’s patients to form a new love relationship while they are in memory care. This can be a problem if the spouse is still alive. Dave’s Dad got “frisky” in the memory care unit.
Every time he visited, Dad gave Dave a tour. it was brand new to Dad. His Dad also introduced him to the nurses each time. He also told him who was in the photos on the wall each time Dave visited. This is also common in Alzheimer’s patients.
The staff coached the family on how to deal with Dad. “Don’t correct him”, was one their advice.
It’s difficult for the family. People are bound to have mixed emotions. Dementia patients need a lot of sleep. It is exhausting for them to try to do things, and their brains work differently than ours do. So you go to visit, and Dad is asleep. That’s hard to deal with if you’ve come a long way to see him or her. You don’t want to wake them up. Then when he wakes up, you get the tour again!
A great piece of advice from Dave: There may be a day when your Dad might not recognize you. Don’t take things personally because it’s not you, it’s the disease.
To get the our free guide, ABC’s of Dementia, just click HERE. You can also listen to the episode on your favorite smartphone podcast app, or click on the player at the top of this page.
Mr. Bailey practices estate planning and elder law at Huffman Law Offices, PC, and he is a member of Missouri Bar Association and the Illinois Bar Association. Curtis is also a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, and not only that, but he is also a member of the Advisory Council of the Area Agency on Aging of Southwestern Illinois. He is very active in his community and is a member of his Chamber of Commerce and Rotary International.
Curtis is the co-founder of Senior Scam Action Associates. They help people recognize, prevent, and recover from scams.