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Let’s talk about death: Episode 113

Jon Braddock talks about DeathLet’s talk about death.

Jonathan Braddock is our guest for today and he is an entrepreneur, author, speaker, and the founder and CEO of My Life and Wishes, an education and digital planning platform with a mission to help at least one million families become “thoughtfully prepared” for the inevitable, their own death. Jon is the author of “Advisor or Vendor”, “Retire Erase”, the “My Life and Wishes Organization”, and, his most recent release, “Click Here When I Die”, is an Amazon Best Seller.

Why is planning for our death important?

Leaving your family via your death is already hard for them, planning your wake and burial will be much harder for them. Leaving them via your death with a Will help them know what you want. They will know if you want to be cremated, in-ground burial, etc. Helping them know what you want or have planned for them is a really big thing because it lessens the hardship that they will face after your death.

For Jon’s family, it took them 10 months to finally finish all the paperwork left for his father-in-law. They found a bank account where the bank’s name is not familiar to them. Imagine the stressful phone calls they had to make to locate the bank. It will be much easier if you prepare everything like your bank accounts, social media passwords, ATM passwords, your will, insurance policies, and many more. Jon shares a story about someone he knows where he’s really guilty that he didn’t have her mother cremated when that’s what she really wants but he didn’t know that because she didn’t tell him.

What are the 5 stages of grief when there’s a death?

  • Denial – this is the first of the five stages of grief. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible. As you accept the reality of the loss and start to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process. You are becoming stronger, and the denial is beginning to fade.
  • Anger – a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. There are many other emotions under the anger and you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion we are most used to managing. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love.
  • Bargaining – Before a loss, it seems like you will do anything if only your loved one would be spared. “Please God, ” you bargain, “I will never be angry at my wife again if you’ll just let her live.” After a loss, bargaining may take the form of a temporary truce. “What if I devote the rest of my life to helping others. Then can I wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream?” We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements.
  • Depression – After bargaining, our attention moves squarely into the present. Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined. This depressive stage feels as though it will last forever. It’s important to understand that this depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. If grief is a process of healing, then depression is one of the many necessary steps along the way.
  • Acceptance – this is often confused with the notion of being “all right” or “OK” with what has happened. This is not the case. Most people don’t ever feel OK or all right about the loss of a loved one. This stage is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality. We begin to live again, but we cannot do so until we have given grief its time.

Reference:

You may reach Jon Braddock through:

E-mail: jon@mylifeandwishes.com

Phone: 844-369-4747

Website: www.mylifeandwishes.com

Jon’s Books:

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Les and Kathe’s Movie Pass Experience: Episode 112

What is a Movie Pass?

Movie Pass lets you watch a movie for free! You just have to pay $10 per month to get one and you can watch movies every day. Imagine 30 movies in 30 days for only $10!! How awesome is that?

 

Advantages of Movie Pass:

  • You can watch new release movies
  • You can watch movies every day for free
  • There are no blocked out dates
  • At theaters where advanced seating is available, you can select your seat in advance
  • You’ll save tons of $$$

I wouldn’t say disadvantages but here are some things you cannot do with your Movie Pass:

  • You cannot watch 2 movies in a day
  • Members can’t watch the same movie twice
  • You can’t watch 3D movies
  • Tickets can be bought the same day you are going to watch the movie. You cannot buy days ahead.
  • To reserve your seat, you must be 100 feet away from the theatre

Having a Movie Pass lets you save a lot of money that you can use to spend on other things. You can have a movie date every day and still have some extra bucks to spend on dinner or groceries.

Watching a movie is a great stress reliever and it’s super fun! However, there are things that you might be doing in the cinema that might be annoying to other people. Here are some examples:
  • Texting – this one is very common. Did you know that the light on your cell phone is distracting?
  • Not putting your phone on silent mode – this one is really annoying. Imagine you’re watching a movie and when it’s climax, someone’s phone is going to ring in maximum volume.
  • Talking loudly – just like not putting your phone on silent mode.

Les and I became interested in Movie Pass when we visited my parents on the East Coast. We went to the cinema and my parents didn’t pay for their ticket! And because of this, we thought, why not get a Movie Pass instead of paying $15-20 per person per movie?

We are sharing this experience because it will help you in your Retirement Lifestyle. You will save a lot of cash especially if you’re a movie-goer. You can spend it on other things like one of my personal favorites, cruises. If you love gardening you can spend it on fertilizers or seeds!

CLICK HERE FOR MOVIE PASS POSTED IN COSTCO FOR $89.99

After buying your Movie Pass in Costco, you need to complete your registration. CLICK HERE for the registration page.

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Multigenerational Living: Episode 110

Multigenerational Living

Multigenerational Living: Is it hard? How does it work?

Lisa Cini is an award-winning, internationally-recognized senior living designer with more than 25 years’ experience.She just released her second book entitled “Hive The Simple Guide to Multigenerational Living,” which is based on her own personal situation of living in a 4-generation household with people in the house ranging in age from 17-92 and the positive impact design can have in a home for seniors with dementia.

Lisa is also the Founder of www.BestLivingTech.com, think Sharper Image meets AARP! She searches the world for the best products to Embrace Living as we age. Her design company, Mosaic Design Studio, is the nation’s leading provider of design services for senior living

According to Lisa, 90% of people do not want to move to Senior Living facilities. A lot of seniors do not want to move into the beautiful Senior Living Facilities Lisa Designs.

Why would someone not want to live in a beautiful Senior Facility where they don’t have to cook and there are a ton of activities?

  1. It can be very expensive
  2. People want to age at home
  3. Some of them got their house when they got married or when they got home from the war. They had that same house their entire lives. Giving up their house is like giving up their freedom

Multigenerational living means living with different age groups in one house.

25% of seniors are now living in a multigenerational household

Lisa started living with her parents and grandparents when she started her company. She needed her mom to take care of her kids. Lisa asked her mom to help her raise the kids and her mom agreed. Her parents lived a couple of blocks away from her house so, she thought, her parents need to move in with her. She also convinced her grandmom to move in with them.

How does it work? How do you deal with the different needs of different persons? Lisa tells us stories from her personal experience as she’s living with her family from different age groups.

Living with Lisa’s parents and grandmother is going well. Her kids love their grandma’s food, her parents love the joy her kids are giving them. Of course, nobody’s perfect so even if everything is going well, there are some bumpy rides along the way. One of them was storage. Each generation feels differently about the storage of their private things. For example; there are things her grandmother considers private that her mother doesn’t. There are also things her mother considers private that Lisa doesn’t consider private.

Lisa’s grandmother has Alzheimer’s. She wanders around so Lisa created a wandering path in her house and used technology. Anything that she could hurt herself on is not on that wandering path. They also installed cameras in her house so that whenever her parents would go out and eat dinner, they would not worry about coming home right away. They could just turn on the camera and talk to her grandmother. Pretty Cool!

Lisa has a 21 point checklist on how to age in place at her website www.lisamcini.com

If you would like to check out Lisa’s Books here are the links:

The Future Is Here: Senior Living Reimagined

HIVE

This post of Retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

How Religion helps you stay healthy: Episode 106

Dr. Jim Brown talks about how Religion helps you stay healthyYes! You read that right. Religion helps you stay healthy!

What else should we discuss on Christmas Day, but religion?

Dr. Jim Brown discusses the benefits of going to church with me on this Christmas special, and they aren’t all just spiritual. He is a university professor teaching Technology and Psychology (that’s a weird mix…right?) and is currently the pastor of The Lake Church. Dr. Jim Brown has been a principal, superintendent, department chair at three different universities. He also served several churches and various roles from music pastor to senior pastor.

Did you know that there are benefits in the faith community to our mind, body, and spirit?

Although we still report ourselves to be a “Christian Nation”, 17% of Americans are regularly attending services (including all religions) weekly. That’s about 1 in every 5 Americans go to (church/synagogue/mosque/etc.) on a regular basis. It doesn’t mean that the 83% doesn’t go to church at all, they just don’t go on a regular basis.

Here are some of the benefits of going to church and how religion helps you stay healthy :

  • Churchgoers live longer and enjoy better overall health in the general population.  Why is this?  Does this surprise you?
    • According to Dr. Lynda Powell, Preventive Medicine Specialist at Rush University Medical Center, the answer may lie at least in part in the positive lifestyle choices that churches promote. Most religious organizations discourage negative habits like smoking, drugs, etc.
  • Frequent churchgoers are happier than those who do not attend services.  Of course, there is always the exception, and right now churchgoers might have a particular reputation of being…well…judgmental or “churchie” for lack of a better word…  But according to research on religion, it’s true.  Why is this?
    • We learn (over time) to accept life as it comes.
    • We learn (also over time) to love and accept one another.  No matter what the flaws are.  This can be one of the most difficult things to learn.
    • A support system is built in for those hard times that we all must face.
  • Regular attendance may increase lifespan.
    • Many Americans go to church because it helps them stay grounded and gives them spiritual guidance.
    • Tyler VanderWeele of Harvard said, “Church attendance promotes self-discipline and sense of meaning and purpose.”
    • Dr. Blazer, a professor of Psychiatry at Duke University said, “The one aspect that is significant of good health is religious service attendance.”
  • Couples who attend church services are less likely to divorce and have happier marriages than those who don’t attend.

To get Dr. Brown’s 11 Good Reasons to Attend Church, go to http://rockyourretirement.com/ReasonsToAttendChurch

Do you have any comments about today’s episode?  Post them in the comments section below!

Contact information for Lake Church at Lake San Marcos:

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

How Different Generation Groups Organize: Ep105

Lisa Woodruff on How Different Generation Groups OrganizeLisa Woodruff was a previous guest and I brought her back for a second interview to talk about how different generation groups organize

Lisa is a professional organizer, productivity specialist, and author. She believes organization is not a skill you are born with. It is a skill that is developed over time and changes with each season of life. I am an avid listener and big fan of her podcast show at Organize365.com.

I gave Lisa an update on my personal progress and yes, I am making progress! We also talked about my ” Sunday Basket” and if you listen to Episode 88 which was my first interview with Lisa you can learn more about that.

What are the different Generation Groups? The dates can vary depending on where you look but here is a general idea:

  • The Silent Generation born between 1925 and 1945
  • Baby Boomer Generation born between 1946 and 1964
  • Generation X born between 1965 and 1980
  • Millenials born between 1980 and after

Lisa and I discuss how each generation deals with their “stuff” and what the differences are.

The Silent Generation was born and raised in the Great Depression. They had a lot available to them educationally but not a lot available to them materially. The Silent Generation typically did not have mortgages on their home and did not use credit cards. They were a hard-working and fairly frugal generation. There was not a lot of consumerism while they were growing up.

Baby Boomers were born and raised in the affluence of World War II. This is when consumerism and a lot of toys really came on the market. Barbies, GI Joe, TV’s  and commercials became prevalent and advertisers started targeting teenagers.

Gen Xer’s had all of the toys. They had all of the toys the baby boomers had growing up and then some. The majority of Gen Xers grew up in the 80’s which was the height of materialism. In the 80’s is when things cost the most and people wanted to accumulate a lot of “stuff”.

Decluttering and downsizing

These items that are in our parents and grandparents homes and attics are things that were hard earned. Baby boomers sometimes have a difficult time getting rid of their things because they worked so hard to obtain them. Take the time to go through those things with your parents or grandparents. Let them tell the stories of how the stuff was obtained and the memories that come with them. Find ways of making memories using the stuff.

Lisa has a lot going on! Below is some information on her workshops, podcast, and books

100 day home organization program 

Paper organizing workshop called the Sunday basket. You can learn more about it at thesundaybasket.com

You can also learn more or listen to her podcast at organize365.com

Books/Kindle Editions: 

The Mindset of Organization: Take Back Your House One Phase at a Time

How ADHD Affects Home Organization: Understanding the Role of the 8 Key Executive Functions of the Mind

The Sunday Basket: Weekly Paper Organization & Planning

10 Steps to Organized Paper

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Taking the Keys Away: Episode 104

Veronica Mitchell on Taking the Keys AwayIn this episode, I talk with Veronica Mitchell about the sensitive topic of taking the keys away.

Veronica is a friend of mine who I have known for awhile. We have served on the same committees at the Caregiver Coalition of San Diego and also the San Diego County Council on Aging. Veronica is an advocate for seniors, women, and caregivers. She is a guest blogger and writes her own blog featured on her website. She is passionate about prevention of Elder Abuse and Scams, along with helping families take the keys from their senior loved ones.

You love your parent or spouse, yet you know that they can no longer safely drive. How do you know that it is time to take the keys away? How do you have that conversation with them in a loving and respectful way? Where do you begin? Families members are afraid to approach the subject. It is our last part of our freedom as we age, and it is very emotional subject.

My father’s Parkinson’s caused his eyes to shut and he was still driving! Obviously, I was panicked and in our family, we had to deal with the tough subject of taking the keys away. Sadly, my story is not uncommon.

Veronica and broke this down into 4 phases:

  • Have Conversations with your loved ones and start it as early as possible. Have a frank conversation and the most candid approach is best. Don’t wait until it is a crisis.
  • Identify, Observe & Document Unsafe Driving. Follow them and observe their driving. Check out the car and see if there are more dents than usual. When you are driving them around ask them directions to get somewhere. Do they get flustered, angry or confused in traffic?
  • Create a Plan, Manage the Plan, and Vet All Participants. Coordinate with friends and family members about who is going to drive them to places. They still need to get to places such as doctors appointments or haircuts. They also need social engagement. Make sure there is a plan to get them to social activities so they don’t become depressed feeling stuck in one place. Make sure to be flexible and have all family members help.

Contact information for Veronica:

Email: veronica@veronicamitchell.com

Twitter: @VeronicaMitch1

Websitewww.veronicamitchell.com

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com