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Always Being Together: Episode 086

Barry and Catherine Cohen on always being together

Barry and Catherine Cohen

I was SO excited that I got to Catherine and Barry Cohen. I am sort of a “fangirl” (but not in a creepy weird way), They have a podcast I listen to all of the time called Together 24/7 and I am a fan! It’s about building businesses together but we talked about always being together. Which, they pretty much are!

Barry said that he and Catherine were genetically programmed to work together. Catherine’s parents built a retail shoe business and have worked together most of their 55 plus years of marriage. Barry’s father is 83 years old and still working! They said that he wouldn’t know what to do with himself and his wife would end up killing him if he was home all day every day.  (Sound familiar?)

Barry and Catherine are business strategists and have a company called Business Solutions for Growth. They work with businesses to help them create a plan of action for their business. We talked about what starting a business as a couple after retirement might look light. Retirement can be boring. A lot of people do this not necessarily for the money, but to do something they really enjoy.

Obviously, you love each other, but If you don’t like each other, retirement is going to be hard.

Some couples enjoy always being together however, there are some things Barry and Catherine say are important to remember:

  • Find common ground
  • Communicate
  • Have mutual respect for each other
  • Enjoy each other

What if always being together isn’t for you?

  • Vacation separately
  • Have days to hang out with friends
  • Keep the things you were doing separately before you retired
  • Decide which activities you enjoy doing together and what activities you want to do separately.

Regardless of whether you plan on spending every minute together in your retirement or plan on doing things separately, Barry and Cat say you should figure it out before retirement. Decide what you are going to do, write a list and talk about it. Prepare for always being together.

If you are thinking of creating a business, Barry and Catherine have offered my listeners a FREE 30-minute discovery session. You can contact them at info@businesssolutionsforgrowth.com or by calling 602-399-7430

This post about Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

How do you handle always being together? Do you have any ideas or thoughts? We would love to hear them in the comments below:

Marriage Advice After Retirement: Episode 85

Lori Davis on Marriage Advice After RetirementLet’s face it, our spouses can get on our nerves! And once you retire, you’re gonna be spending even more glorious (or not so glorious) time together. In this episode, I talk with Lori Ann Davis on marriage advice after retirement.

Lori has over 28 years’ experience empowering individuals and couples to live richer, happier lives. I asked her to come on the show because she is the author of Unmasking Secrets to Unstoppable Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Renew Love and Passion in Your Life.

You want a marriage that is not only surviving but is actually thriving.

According to Lori, just because you don’t fight and your marriage seems OK, it doesn’t necessarily mean it is. She gives some great marriage advice after retirement.

Key Elements for working on your marriage (and Lori says yes, you have to work on your marriage all the time) 

  • Constantly reconnect with each other
  • Be interested
  • Get to know them on a deeper level
  • Make sure you are spending enough time together
  • Talk about your expectations for this phase of your life
  • Discuss your dreams and interests

The Do’s and Don’ts

DO:

  • Discover who your spouse is
  • Date each other
  • Remember why you chose each other

DON’T

  • Spend 24/7 together
  • Rush into anything if you have grown apart
  • Spend zero amount of time together

What do you do if you have grown apart?

  • Sit down and start dating each other again
  • Look for the positives and the good things
  • Renew the passion and intimacy
  • Flirt
  • Sit next to each other
  • Stop for a kissing break
  • Entice
  • Hold hands
  • Leave a flirty message on the pillow or sent a flirtatious text
  • Make out and be playful

Lori and I also talk about when it’s time to get help for your relationship whether it is a counselor or a coach. Lori says the sooner you get help the better and don’t wait until you have given up.

Should you give marriage advice to a friend if they ask for it? Comment below if you have any thoughts on this subject.

Book:  Unmasking Secrets to Unstoppable Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Renew Love and Passion in Your Life.

Contact information: www.lorianndavis.com

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Dealing with Pet Loss: Episode 84

Von Braschler Dealing with Pet LossIf you are like me, your animals are a big part of your family. In this episode, I talk with Von Braschler about dealing with pet loss and grief. 

Von is the author of the book Natural Pet Healing and the e-book Healing with Your Pet: Our Psychic Spiritual Connection, which is based in part on his 4-year popular podcast which was called “Healing with your Pet.” He rescues cats and has volunteered as a dog walker and groomer for the Humane Society. He is also a certified pet massage therapist. 

There are steps that you really need to go through in dealing with pet loss

The most popular names in the US for pets are no longer Fluffy or Spot. Instead, they are names such as Max, Sam, Ginger, Misty, Jake, and Samantha. These are like children’s names and they become our family. According to Von, the bond we have with our pets these days is stronger than ever before. Pets are not spending as much time outside, they live in the house with us, therefore, our bond with them gets stronger.

Most of us will go through many… many pets and will sadly lose them and go through grief. Unless someone has lived with an animal or had a pet that is close to them, they do not feel the bond and they can’t truly empathize with the grief you go through.

What are the steps for dealing with pet loss?

  1. Take lots of photos and make a book out of them
  2. Keep collars, tags (keepsakes)
  3. Celebrate their life
  4. Surround yourself with sympathetic people
  5. Allow yourself to grieve
  6. If you have another pet, you can comfort each other and grieve together
  7. Have a small ceremony
  8. Join a pet loss support group either online or in person
  9. Have age appropriate animal (someone who is elderly may not want to get a parrot who will live a very long time)
Books: 

Natural Pet Healing: Our Psychic, Spiritual Connection

Healing with your Pet: Our Psychic, Spiritual Connection (Kindle Edition)

Contact Information: If you would like to reach out to Von you can go to facebook.com/vbraschler

 Websites we mentioned in our interview:

Special Thanks to:

  • Angie Strehlow who helps us get great guests that help us with our retirement lifestyle while keeping everything on track…and helps with these show notes!
  • Les Briney, my husband, and Danny Ozment of Emerald City Pro who edits the show and makes my guests and me sound terrific
  • Henry Shapiro, host of Retired Excited that airs on Fridays
  • YOU for telling your friends about the show, leaving comments below, and sharing episodes you really like on Facebook, and reviewing the show on iTunes

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

What do you say to someone who’s grieving? Episode 66

What do you say to someone who's grieving?

Natalia Volz speaks on Grief

So many people in my life in 2016 were grieving it’s difficult to track them all.

Some of them lost a family member.  Some lost a pet.  And some were grieving over their lost candidate after the election. One of the things that most of us have to deal with in retirement is grief – either our own or someone else’s.  What do you say to someone who’s grieving?  That’s exactly what I asked Natalia Volz and the answer may surprise you.

Natalia Volz is the founder of Passing Through Grief and the RELIEF Process.

She helps individuals who feel lost and down after experiencing a significant loss or change in their life such as a death, divorce, or children leaving home to heal their pain so they can rebuild their life and find renewed purpose.

She has first hand experience with loss and grief.  In 2010, after a two-year battle with cancer, her husband died at the age of 49. Lost, alone, and very frightened, she eventually found her way through the devastating pain of loss and grief.

There is a lack of understanding and a fear in our culture about loss and grief and she found herself struggling to find help to get through. She worked diligently to move beyond her own grief and on to living happily and purposefully.   Natalia read every book she could get my hands on, took courses on the subject, and completed grief recovery certification training, and in the process became passionate about making a difference in the way our society deals with loss, change and grief.

It’s easy to tell that she feels passionate about getting out accurate information on a subject we normally avoid but all have to confront first hand at some point in our lives.

I asked Natalia, “What do you say?”  I know that I’m always at a loss for words when I’m confronted with someone who is grieving, because I know that nothing I say or do is going to bring their wholeness back. She had a very interesting answer:   Be a heart with ears.

For the person who is grieving, she said that time does not heal all wounds.  The person suffering a loss needs to talk about it.  Keeping busy does not heal. So what do you say to someone who’s grieving?

Natalia gave us some steps to take to help with our own grief:

  • Find a place to talk about the feelings of loss.
  • Write about your feelings about the loss.
  • Connect with others.  See if there is one friend who will listen to how you are feeling.  Tell them you just need to talk, and to have them listen.
  • Say it or write it while you are feeling the emotion.
  • Grief causes a lot of energy.  Move through it through your body. Don’t stuff it.  Take a walk if you can.
  • Listen to music that makes you cry. Get your tears out.  Crying releases a stress hormone that actually helps you release the stress.  Don’t worry, you can’t cry forever.  Normally it takes about 15 minutes and then you feel better.
  • Writing really helps with the relief process.

So what do you say to someone who’s grieving?  For dealing with others, remember you can’t fix it so don’t even try.  Be a heart with ears.  If your friend is telling you about some guilt that they might feel, don’t discount it by saying “He knew you loved him”, instead say something like, “I can imagine that would be really painful.  I can’t imagine what that would feel like.  Tell me more”.

Natalia gave us some excellent advice, but unfortunately my internet went out right when we were wrapping up the show.  I hope to have her come back someday because what she had to say was so valuable.  The good news is that we were wrapping up, about to give out her contact information, which we have below.

If you’d like to contact Natalia, you can reach her at 877-606-0909 or Natalia@PassingThroughGrief.com

Her website is http://PassingThroughGrief.com.

Get today’s Freebie, Five Quick Easy Action Steps You Can Do Now To Get Relief From Grief, at www.RockYourRetirement.com/Relief

Special Thanks to:

  • Angie Strehlow who helps us get great guests that help us with our retirement lifestyle while keeping everything on track
  • Les Briney who edits the show and makes my guests and me sound terrific
  • Lesinda Tubalado who helps keep the website up to date
  • YOU the listener for letting other people know about this show by sharing on social media, and telling your friends about it

This post on Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

You can find a Fulfilling Life in Retirement! Episode 50

"<yoastmarkJanelle  Anderson helps people discover their pathways to a fulfilling life in retirement.

Ms. Anderson works with women find a fulfilling life in retirement.  She is a Certified Professional Coach through her business, Emerging Life Coaching. Janelle typically works with women who are transitioning into a new season in life, whether that is from the “busy mother raising children season” to an “empty nest” season or from “busy career life” to the season of retired life. And…she helps them discover a new game to play and who they truly want to be in this “third act of life.” Her work with clients includes one-on-one private coaching sessions, as well coaching groups, workshops and personal development classes.

She developed a retirement transition course called “Pathways to a Fulfilling Life in Retirement.” This course was featured in Virginia Tech’s Lifelong Learning Institute this past Spring.

She has created a personalized coaching program from this course called “Redefine Your Retirement.”

Janelle’s Pathways to a Fulfilling life in Retirement course is a 6 week course that goes through the following:

  • Week 1 – Assessment. This is spent doing various types of assessments to determine where people are in their transitions. She uses “REC” which means:
    • Release – Letting go of your past life
    • Explore – What do I want to do now
    • Create – Setting out steps and goals to create a new life in retirement
  • Week 2 – Envisioning which is setting the vision of where you want to go and who you want to be. Dream and paint a big picture of what’s possible.
  • Week 3 – What’s stopping you? “GAILS”
    • Gremlins
    • Assumptions
    • Interpretations and
    • Limiting beliefs
  • Week 4 – Work on removing the roadblocks in your life. Create possibilities and figure out how to write a new story for your life.
  • Week 5 – This week is spent looking at key relationships in your life. Where are they?  Are they draining you? Are they energizing you?
  • Week 6 – Create your best life by coming up with a plan, action steps, and goals to create the life you want to live in retirement

I’m not unhappy, I’m doing things I enjoy like gardening and going out with my friends, but I just keep asking myself is this all there is?

Janelle talks about her client Margie who was struggling with becoming an “empty nester” and she also talks about Sandra who felt unfulfilled in her retirement.

Margie had just entered the “empty nest” when she came to me. The last of her children had just moved out and she was really floundering with her life, not knowing what to do with herself.

Know that there is not just one transition that is going to happen. There are many transitions and that it is normal and you may need time to re-adjust to figure out where you are and what you want to do.

We asked, “What advice would you give to a retiree who feels stuck?”  She answered, “Appreciate the moment. Live in the present moment, live every moment to the fullest and learn how to find joy right now.”

Contact information: 540-391-0332  janelle@emerginglifecoaching.com  www.emerginglifecoaching.com

Today’s Freebie can be downloaded at: http://RockYourRetirement.com/Roadblocks

How to Live in an RV: Episode 48

In this episode of Rock Your Retirement we talked to Jerry Minchey. You can listen to the show at http://rockyourretirement.libsyn.com/how-to-live-in-an-rv

Jerry Minchey How to Live in an RV

Jerry Minchey: How to Live in an RV

On today’s episode of Rock Your Retirement, we’re learning about how to live in an RV!

Jerry Minchey, #1 Best Selling Author, is the author of several books about the RVing lifestyle, and about retirement living. He lives full time in his 34-foot Class A motorhome. He has a Bachelors degree in Electrical Engineering, an MBA from USC, and an OPM degree from Harvard Business School.

Jerry  has worked for NASA and worked for many years as a computer design engineer. He holds five patents, and he has a private pilot license with an instrument rating.  (Let’s go flying!)

He has owned several engineering and marketing businesses, and he is the founder and editor of the website, LifeRV.com.  How did he decide to live in an RV?  He tells us on today’s episode.

After Jerry retired he bought a motorhome and started living full-time in it.

He started following several RVing blogs and forums. After a couple of years of following the RV forums he realized that there were a lot of people who had tons of questions about the RVing lifestyle, what’s it like, how much does it cost, etc. That’s when he decided to write his first RVing book (Motorhome and RV Retirement Living – The most Enjoyable and Least Expensive Way to Retire). Jerry has since written three more books about motorhome and RV living.  If anyone is an expert on how to live in an RV, it’s him.

He sells his books (both the printed versions and the eBooks) through Amazon. He also has links to the Amazon sales pages for his books on his website www.LifeRV.com

Jerry says, “Probably the most interesting response I get from people when I tell them about living full time in an RV is that they say, “I could never live in an RV. I have too much stuff.”

“They say it with so much conviction it’s like saying one leg is longer than the other one. They act like they were born that way and there’s nothing they can do about it. Getting rid of your stuff is one of the most liberating things you can do.”

“Since I live full-time in my motorhome, my typical day varies a lot depending on where I’m camped. Sometimes I’m in a campground and sometimes I’m camped in a state park or a National Forest all by myself. Either way, I do a lot of writing and I like to hike.”

Jerry gave us a lot of great information and we also created a freebie, 5 steps to living in an RV Full Time, that you can get by going to http://RockYourRetirement.com/RV

Jerry’s Book(s):

Jerry, what do you think people should know BEFORE they retire?

Contrary to what a lot of financial advisors say about how much money you need to retire, I tell people to look at retirement from the opposite direction. When you’re near retirement age, what money you have is what you have and there’s not much that they can do to change the amount. So look at what you have and decide what kind of retirement you can have. The good news is that when it comes to retiring and living full-time in a RV, the price of RV you have doesn’t have much to do with how happy you are in retirement.

Your RV is like your dog. Whether it’s a rescue dog or a pedigree dog, you love it and enjoy it just the same.

Jerry, what if someone feels stuck in retirement?

I would tell them to live their life so they can say, “When I grow up I want to be just like me.” It’s an eye-opening thought and in many cases it expands their horizons when thinking about how they want to live their retirement.

Contact information:  Email- Jminchey@Gmail.com  Website: www.LiveRV.com

Don’t forget to join our free Facebook group!  It’s very supportive and you can get many of your questions answered from experts, and people who are doing what you want to do!  Just go to http://RockYourRetirement.com/FacebookCommunity

Today’s Freebie, 5 steps to living in an RV full-time, can be found at http://RockYourRetirement.com/RV